Why some women don’t enjoy SEX

While I was thinking of what to bless my readers with
this weekend, I came across this write up over the
internet and I believe it will be of e to you. Do enjoy it.
"MOST men dream of having sex the way it is done on
pornographic videos. But for some women, sex is a
nightmare. Most women we spoke to do not like sex
and say it is boring, painful, repetitive and dirty,
among other things.
They use it just to hold on to and make their men
happy. Some women claim to have a headache when
it's time for sex, while others pretend they are too
tired.
What is going on? Is there something our men are not
doing right?
Yes, says Priya Naidoo, a Durban-based sex expert.
Most men do not know that in order for a woman to
enjoy sex, her body needs to be ready. Not just
mentally or emotionally ready, but physically and
biologically ready too.
Naidoo says some partners don't bother to nurture
their women mentally, emotionally or physically. They
just want to satisfy their own needs. "That is why it is
easy for a man to sleep with a prostitute or a helper he
has no feelings for, than it is for a woman to just pick
any man," Naidoo says. She says another big problem
is that many men are not aware of certain things
women feel uncomfortable about while having sex.
Many women don't enjoy sex because they were
sexually abused in childhood or raped in adulthood.
Naidoo adds that in some societies, sex is presented
as being disgusting, dirty, ungodly and immoral. She
says she finds this mostly in religious couples.
"The majority of the women who come to me for help
are religious women who have rigid ideas about sex.
Some think it is dirty while others think that it is only
men who are meant to enjoy it. Others feel sex is
primarily for reproduction and that pleasure is a by-
product," she said.
She adds that there are also medical reasons why
some women do not enjoy sex."Some women suffer
from what is called Female Sexual Arousal Disorder,
which leads to lack of libido," she said.
According to her, conditions such as diabetes, thyroid
disease, anaemia, childbirth, hormones, lack of
sensation due to decreased muscle tone, painful
intercourse, menopause, hysterectomy, and any
medical problems that affect the sex hormones can
result in a decreased sex drive.
Ageing, inadequate or ineffective foreplay, depression,
poor self-esteem, sexual abuse, feelings of shame or
guilt about sex, fear of pregnancy, stress and fatigue,
unhealthy diets, excess weight or obesity, stressful
lifestyles, depression, anxiety and other emotional
problems, or a combination of physical or
psychological factors also affect sexual desire.
Who is affected by sexual dysfunction?
Both men and women are. Sexual problems occur in
adults of all ages. Among those commonly affected are
the elderly, which may be related to a decline in
health associated with ageing.
But Asiphe Ndlela, a psychologist, ties lack of sexual
interest to a woman's relationship with her partner.
Ndlela says men need a place for having sex, women
need a purpose.
"Female sexuality is complex. At its core is a need for
closeness and intimacy. Women also have physical
needs. When there is an emotional or physical
problem, they can have sexual problems," she stated.
She said lack of interest in sex can also be triggered
by family problems, illness or death, financial or job
worries, in-law problems, childcare responsibilities,
managing a career and children, previous or current
physical and/or emotional abuse, past history of sexual
abuse, fatigue and depression. For women, the
inability to become physically aroused during sexual
activity often involves insufficient vaginal lubrication.
The inability to become aroused also may be related to
anxiety or inadequate stimulation. In addition,
researchers are investigating how blood-flow problems
affecting the vagina and clitoris may contribute to
arousal problems.
Ndlela says the biggest problem is that most men get
sex education from their friends, TV and porn movies.
She says in porn movies, women are portrayed as
objects that just get aroused without proper
stimulation; who have swift orgasms.
"Pornography leads single men to believe that other
men are getting a lot of sex. And they wonder why
they aren't getting it. In normal lives, sexuality is far
different from how it is portrayed in porn and they fail
to understand this," she pointed out.
She equally added that women are much more
interested in romance and relationship than in casual
intercourse."
Culled from www.sowetanlive.co.za