The Facts Which Women Keep As Secrets From Men

The woman you sleep with gazes into your
eyes and tells you she loves you. And you
believe her. You can tell by the way she
looks at you, the way she holds you, the
way she seems to always know what you
want before you do.
There are a couple of things in life you just know,
and love and this naked woman are two of them.
But there are a lot of things you don't know.
A woman may give you her body and her heart,
but there are parts that she'll never give up.
Pieces woven into the very fiber of her being.
Mysteries only hinted at in a passing sly smile, an
inscrutable laugh. These are the secrets of lovers
past, hidden fantasies, and unshared longings. A
woman's deepest secrets that don't—and never
will—include you.
You're about to sample this hidden knowledge.
But like any man who seeks, you'd better be
prepared for what you're about to find.
1. My Best Friend Knows Everything
My best friend knows everything. She knows all of
your vitals—from the size of your bank account to
the size penis—and she knows how both compare
with those of every other man I've ever dated. I
have done a hand-comparison measurement so I
can divulge size and girth with a high level of
accuracy. When my friend smirks at you
knowingly, you are not imagining it. She knows.
So just know that she knows, and deal with it.
2. I Lie About My Number
I'll never tell you exactly how many men I've slept
with. No matter how sincere I appeared when I
answered your question, chances are I wasn't. As
an unscientific guideline, when a woman says
she's slept with four men, the real number is
actually closer to seven. Her fib is partly
intentional (she doesn't want to appear a whore),
but mostly it's sexual amnesia. When a woman
wants to pretend an encounter never occurred,
she simply scraps the man from her official score
sheet. Common excuses that lead to such an
omission: The actual sex lasted only a few thrusts;
or she was drunk or on the rebound.
3. I Fantasized About You
I fantasized about being with you at least a dozen
times before we actually first got naked.
4. I Compare You to My Exes
I still think about my ex-boyfriends and compare
them to you. Mostly you win. Sometimes not.
5. I Always Need Extra Time
When I say, "I'm ready," I'll need exactly 7 more
minutes to get ready. Don't try to cheat the
system by showing up 7 minutes later; I will still
need an extra 7 minutes.
6. You've Made Me Cry
You've made me cry more times than you'll ever
know.
7. I Like When You Call
I obsess about when you're going to call me
again. The period of time between our first date
and your "Thanks for a great night; when can I
see you again?" always seems stretched into slow
motion. So don't worry about looking too eager.
Call. Even if you only wait until noon the day
after, it will feel like a lifetime to me.
8. I Want You to Talk a Little Dirty
I want you to talk a little dirty in bed.
9. I'm Constantly Testing You
I'm constantly testing you. I observe, analyze,
and judge every action, word, gesture, e-mail,
and facial expression. When I ask you if you want
to have a threesome, I don't mean it. If you want
me to speak to you again, let alone sleep with you
after this conversation, the answer should always
be, "Why would I want to sleep with another
woman when I have you?"
10. I Need to Know You Want Me
I need constant indications that you want me
around. That's why it's better, for example, to
say, "I want you to come away with me for the
weekend. Could you come with me?" than to ask,
"What are you up to this weekend?"