The Essence Of Life – What Everyone Secretly Wants

The meaning of life is a question people have asked themselves for thousands of years, but no one has ever agreed to what the answer is. The essence of life, however, is, in my opinion, the same for everyone. If you want to know what it is, keep reading…

Earlier today an old colleague of mine sent me a message on Facebook and basically told me all his problems. I was honored that he would come to me and also a little surprised, as this was a person I really wouldn't expect to be having that kind of a conversation with. He asked me for advice, hoping that I could help him become happier. I can't, but I can help him on the way. I believe that what he is missing is the essence of life.

The Essence of Life
The essence of life is a feeling of importance. He just doesn't feel significant. I merely drew that conclusion based on what he told me because he said he couldn't stay happy for a long period of time before being depressed again. Every single human being on this planet is secretly chasing this essence of life, the feeling of importance. They want, actually crave, confirmation and acknowledgement.

The truth is that the only person who can give you the confirmation and acknowledgement you secretly desire, is you. I'm not saying that it's wrong to have someone else filling up your cup now and then, but in the long run, no one can do a better job at acknowledging yourself than you.

When everything seems to crash and burn around you and you are being, as he described himself as, a pessimist, you need to change something. The first step to that change is to acknowledge that the problem exists. The second step is starting to change the way you think about yourself – your self-image. This step includes finding positive things about yourself that you can be proud of and then give yourself acknowledgement for those traits. The third step is having a goal.

One of the things I told him to do was reading a book by Maxwell Maltz, called Psycho-Cybernetics. One of the metaphors he uses is that humans are likened to a bicycle. In order to keep their balance, they need to keep moving. So I asked him about his goal. He said that when he was little, he wanted to become a psychologist. As this is a grown man and it takes nearly a decade to complete the education it takes to have that title, it's virtually impossible for him to attain that it.

He knew that, which only reinforced his depressive state of mind. I asked him if there was any other way that he could achieve that same goal without having the degree. There was. You see, most people, and this is also the essence of life, wants to help other people, which is what he really wanted. When you are able to help other people, you get a feeling of importance, but you need to feed yourself before you can feed someone else.

The Secret Feeling of Significance
The reason that we want to help other people is that we have an inner belief of significance; otherwise we wouldn't come up with the idea of helping someone in the first place. We do feel that we are significant; we do feel that we matter and we do feel that we have something to contribute with. The challenge is to acknowledge that to ourselves and start seeing ourselves as the awesome human being that we deep down are.

To the world you may be just one person, but to one person you may be the world. – Brandi Snyder

It's a matter of realizing our potential, our greatness and our contributions. We need to realize that we do matter and to remember the quote above. Being depressed is a state of mind which has originated from the thoughts we have given presedence to. To change the habit of being depressed and uncover the essence of life we need to start acknowledging ourselves for our abilities, not for our weaknesses. Everyone has weak moments and everyone feels insignificant now and then. You might not be perfect, but you are someone. Make the best of that someone. That is the essence of life!